Miss Olivia Rose- A Birth Story

I went to bed on October 4th feeling a bit frustrated, it was my due date, and all I was feeling were some Braxton-Hicks. I was pretty done being pregnant, I wasn't ever comfortable, and my baby was a kick-boxer who had bruised my ribs and used my bladder as a trampoline. Little did I know, those weren't Braxton-Hicks, and I woke up at 2:30 am to some pretty painful contractions, happening about 10 minutes apart, too strong to sleep through, but at that point they weren't really getting stronger or more intense (it's at this point that I count myself as being in labor, while the contractions I was feeling earlier may have been real labor pains as well). I walked around our house trying to distract myself, but there isn't much to do that early in the morning, until around 5 in the morning when I accidentally woke up Derek.

I told Derek that I was pretty sure I was in labor, which triggered the first of many times he asked "Should we leave for the hospital?" But my plan was to go unmedicated, so I wanted to labor at home as long as possible. I double-checked the hospital bag, made sure the car-seat base was nice and secure in the car, watched a lot of "Parks and Rec", and did some cleaning to keep myself distracted through the pain. I honestly wasn't sure when to go to the hospital, because once my contractions got about 7 minutes apart, they didn't get any closer together, but they did start to get more intense, but I was determined to stay at home as long as possible without having a Pam situation happen. Derek actually said that, after he asked a couple times if we should go to the hospital and I kept saying no, he said, "Just don't be Pam, don't let that happen." (I'm referring to an episode in "The Office" if you aren't familiar, when Pam and Jim have their first baby).

Around 10:30 am, the contractions got strong enough that I couldn't really walk or talk through them anymore, so we got our stuff together to head to the hospital, hoping that I was making good progress after at least 8 hours of labor.

The drive to the hospital wasn't that long, but every bump was agony and made the 7 minute drive feel a lot longer. We walked in and headed up to the 5th floor, having visited friends at the hospital before, we knew exactly where we had to go which was nice, because I was in a lot of pain at this point. We got checked in, and were brought to a room where they checked to see how far along I was, which was disappointing. By this point I was 9 hours in, and was only dilated to a 3. To understand my frustration, I had been dilated to a 1 for weeks, so I was not making progress quickly. Not to mention that my mom and sister both needed an epidural to get their bodies to progress, so my plans on going unmedicated weren't looking good.

The nurse then started looking for veins to put in an IV, which is never an easy experience with me. I have the tiniest veins in the world. It's the reason I don't donate blood, it's the reason I have poor circulation, and the reason why IV's are the literal worst. After being poked 4 times, by 3 different nurses, they brought in the anesthesiologist who was finally successful in getting an IV in a vein on my wrist, however I lost the use of my left hand. At this point, another hour had gone by, so I was 10 hours in, still only dilated to a 3, and was going on 4-6 hours of sleep in the last 48 hours and there was no end in sight. My contractions weren't coming any closer together, but they were just getting stronger. Nothing was really helping either, none of the breathing techniques I had practiced, the lavender and eucalyptus oils were only doing so much to help keep me calm, and I was exhausted, so I caved and asked for an epidural (which ended up being a really good decision, will get to that).

After getting the epidural, I tried to relax and Derek and I talked a bit about the change in plan. After a couple hours my Dr. came in and checked me again, this time I was dilated to a 6, so I'm thinking that, like my mom and sister, the epidural helped me make some progress. She said to get some sleep, because pushing would be tiring, and that she'd be back in a few hours. I was able to get maybe 2-3 hours of sleep before I woke up, feeling a bit better.

I'm not sure what time it was at this point, I just know that the nurse came in and we were at a 10 and ready to push at 5:00 pm. My contractions were pretty strong, I could still clearly feel them through the epidural with some pain, so it made it really easy to know when to push, and it also made it so that I could still control my legs a bit. We started pushing without my Dr. there, and she arrived after about a half hour of pushing. While baby was head down, she was facing the wrong way, she was in the posterior position which made it hard for her to come down the birth canal, so my Dr. worked through some pushes to get her to turn and face the right way.

After a couple hours of pushing, she got stuck behind my pelvic bone and wasn't making any further progress, we even tried using forceps, and after close to 3 hours of pushing and 18 hours of labor, my Dr. called for a c-section. I wasn't scared necessarily, I was mostly just mad; straight-up angry that after 18 hours it still wasn't over and my body wasn't doing what it was supposed to, and I was SO TIRED. And I was frustrated that my birth plan was falling apart. I mean, going into it I knew that we couldn't expect it to go as planned, but I was really mad. Luckily, our anesthesiologist and nurse were both awesome, and so is my Dr. Everything was explained to us before they did anything, and everyone was really patient and calm.

They gave Derek some scrubs and such to put on, and rolled me into the OR, which was freezing, so they put this neat blanket thing on my upper body that they then ran warm air through. Honestly I just laid there with my eyes closed in a bubble of warmth, because, did I mention how exhausted I felt? And it wasn't that bad. They had increased my epidural before taking me in, which made me numb basically from my armpits down, but I could still feel what they were doing, just without any pain. It was a really interesting feeling and experience. We also knew why she wouldn't fit through my pelvic opening, because now that I was cut open and they could see inside, my pelvis doesn't open to let a baby through like it's supposed to, so all future children will be through c-section.

They had a curtain up, which I'm glad they did because this time around I'm not sure I wanted to see myself cut open, but Derek watched (he's all about medical stuff), and my anesthesiologist told me everything I may feel or experience as it was happening. The best part was when they pulled her out of me, which I felt, and which took some actual pulling, because she was pretty stuck from all that pushing I had done. I remember Derek saying, "There she is," and me responding with, "And it's actually a she? It's a girl?" I was always a little worried that the ultrasound was wrong and we had all this little girl stuff and then would have a boy haha. They took her away, with Dad following close behind, to get her cleaned up and make sure everything was good, before bringing her back to see me. The longest part of a c-section is stitching up, so I was gonna be there a while.

Olivia Rose Clarke was born at 8:43 pm on Thursday October 5th weighing 7 lbs 5 oz and exactly 19 inches long.

Meeting my daughter for the first time. She was very alert and awake, she was from the moment they took her out. Derek says she she stayed alert and just very curious as they took her to do all the tests, too.

After Derek brought her in for me to see her and meet her, he went back out with her because they needed to do more tests. During labor, I developed a 105 degree fever, so for the first 24 hours after birth, both Olivia and I had to have an IV and antibiotics. So they had to find a good spot to put an IV in Olivia, as well as other tests. I'm not sure what all they had to do, I just know that it took 2 hours for them to finally bring her to me. Once we were given the go ahead to start pushing, Derek had texted my mom to ask her to start driving up. So she arrived not long after the c-section finished up. So I luckily had her to keep me company while I continuously questioned "Where is my husband and baby?" I really wanted to go to sleep, but I wanted to hold her and breastfeed as soon as possible, knowing that skin-to-skin and getting a baby on the breast ASAP is very helpful in getting a good latch and being successful.

Finally having her in the room with us was great, and she was a really good baby. Even when she was hungry, she never truly cried, just fussed and whined, and as soon as she got what she needed, she was back to happy baby. She was curious and alert most of the time, and hung out and snuggled with us. We did have to supplement with formula while in the hospital those few days, because my milk wasn't coming in, and I wasn't even really making colostrum. But we didn't give up, and by the time we brought her home 3 days later she was only breastfed.

My mom originally wasn't going to come up until the day after, but I'm really glad I insisted she come up when she did because of the c-section. I couldn't really move, or do anything for myself those first couple of days, and Derek still had classes and even had to go take a test the day after we had her. If it wasn't for my mom, I would've been calling the nurses a lot to help me with a lot of simple things, and I would've hated feeling like a bother. It really helped ease my anxiety and let me focus on healing and building a bond with my baby. Not to mention Olivia got lots of Nana snuggles since I couldn't hold her for very long in the beginning.

We did send Olivia to the nursery at night just because we both needed some sleep, and I knew we'd need it for when we brought her home. She enjoyed her time in the nursery though. The nurses always mentioned whenever they brought her to us that she was so good, and while all the other babies would be crying, she'd just be looking around or sleeping soundly.

On Saturday, Derek's family was able to come by and meet her, so Olivia was able to get some Grandma snuggles in, too. Sadly, Grandpa and Uncle Brendan weren't feeling very good, so they didn't hold her this first time around.

Because she had to have an IV in the first 24 hours after she was born, we had to wait until she was a couple days old to really give her a bath, but we learned that she enjoys them!

Nice clean baby and a new family of three!

 On Sunday afternoon, we were cleared to go home. It was somewhat scary, but also something we were excited for. I for one hadn't left that hospital room for days, so despite still being in quite a bit of pain, it was nice to finally get some fresh air and go home. Our time in the hospital, overall, was really nice though. Despite things not going according to plan and having to spend a couple additional days there, our nurses were all fantastic and really nice and helpful, and the hospital food was actually pretty good! I had access to all the mashed potatoes and gravy I wanted.

Really we are just so happy to have Olivia with us now. The way she came wasn't according to plan, but I'm learning that the Lord really likes to knock my plans off track, my control-freak ways are making this a really hard lesson to learn I guess. But she is so good, and cute, and loved, and it was all worth it. She is already so fun, curious, and happy, and I'll be sure to post updates more frequently as she continues to grow and develop. Until then, I'll leave you with a string of her newborns that were taken by the fantastic Haley Parlogean Photography.

Bumpdate!

I actually have a bump now, so I can use the phrase bumpdate! I am 34 weeks pregnant as of today, and I feel like a whale haha but for the most part, things are still going okay! Heartburn is annoying, but that just makes me think we'll hopefully see a baby with a head of hair, which makes me excited! I was bald until around 2 years old, so hopefully baby girl gets some nice curls like her dad :) She continues to be very active, her favorite spot being up by my ribs, specifically my right side. My ribs there are bruised I'm pretty sure, but it's still really cool every time I feel her move, or see my stomach change shape and you can clearly see her head, or bum, or a knee. It's awesome to see her react to Derek's voice as well. She's a daddy's girl already:) Everyone says that her movement will slow down as she runs out of room, so we'll see if that happens, because she shows no signs of slowing.

34 weeks today!

We've got 6 weeks to go! And that is if she comes on time and doesn't decide to show up early. We're feeling good though, nursery is slowly coming together more and more. I think I'll have it done in the next couple weeks and then I'll share what we did. Other than packing a hospital bag, I think we have the big things all covered. I just need to figure out what I want to bring baby girl home in, but that parts fun :)

I also flew out to Minneapolis this week for a conference for work. People are really nice to you when you fly and you're pregnant. And since the flight from SLC is only 2.5 hours long, flying isn't too uncomfortable either. Though you're not really supposed to travel once you hit 34 weeks, so I cut it pretty close haha.

A couple weeks ago we got some maternity pictures done, and they look so great! Lauren Broadhead did such a great job. I've shared them in a couple places already, but I still want to put some of my favorites here.

Today is also our 3rd anniversary. 

I can't believe we've already been married for 3 years! This past year we've grown a lot as a couple. Going through infertility is hard, deciding on what we want for our future is hard, Derek has had a lot to do to prepare for pharmacy school and it's hard. But we've also done a lot of fun things together, we still have fun just sitting on the couch talking and quoting "The Office." Marriage isn't easy, it's constant work, but I can't imagine going through life without Derek by my side. Everything helps us grow as individuals and closer together, and I'm so utterly excited to add to our Eternal family in the next couple months. I can't help but think of an "Office" quote (sorry not sorry), but life is good right now. 

Hello 3rd Trimester

As I type this, baby girl is punching my bladder and has a foot in my rib cage, which kind of hurts, but also continues to amaze me. It's weird, but I can't remember what it was like to not have this bump in front of me and this little wriggly girl keeping me up all night. It makes me wonder how I'll get used to not having a baby in me in a couple months when she comes. I'll be 29 weeks on Wednesday, so we're getting really close! Other than having an extremely active little baby (seriously, I have felt consistent, crazy movements since around 19 weeks), heart burn is extremely obnoxious and I'm sorry for anyone who deals with that on the reg, because I never really got it before pregnancy. Also constant discomfort is real, so anyone who has any helpful tips on how I can get a decent night sleep, I am all ears.

We've started doing more and more in the nursery, we have our crib and glider, and I've started painting and working on different crafts to decorate it. I'm excited for it to be officially done and then I'll share pictures of that :) I think we've also finally got our registry figured out, I used this site called Babylist.com, and it is really cool. You can basically add anything to your registry regardless of the store, and then it lists the different options and prices so that when people look at it, they know where they can get it for the best deal. It also helps you get the registry started by asking questions about how you plan to parent and your budget, etc. I'd recommend it to any new moms out there.

Regardless of feeling huge (though people continually tell me I'm not that big), we've remained pretty active and have tried to make the best use of our summer. So here are some highlights of some of our mini adventures.

In June we went to Lagoon and my family came with us, it's an awesome benefit offered by OC Tanner, we get the day to go have fun with our families and the company covers the charges.

Derek also celebrated a birthday in June and is now 25! I'm just awful and we didn't take any pictures of our celebrations haha.

We went to Saint George over the 4th holiday weekend and enjoyed the sun, swimming, hiking and both of our families.

We did the Kanarraville Falls hike which was really pretty and fun, but I somehow injured my foot on the hike back down, so I was in a boot for a couple of weeks until I couldn't take it anymore and just wear inserts in my shoes now.

Happy Nana, my mom was very excited when I finally started to show.

And this was taken when I was 28 weeks exactly, first day of the 3rd trimester :)

So there is an update on us and me and the baby, and as we get closer and have the nursery done and baby showers, I'm excited to share what we experience next. I'm hoping the excitement sticks around, because I'm trying to stave of the anxiety and panic about going into labor and actually having this baby. I'm fine about being a parent, no panic about that, I love babies (not saying I'll suddenly be an expert or anything), but man labor is scary haha. Any tips or advice about birthing plans or what to include in the hospital bag will also be greatly appreciated :) Hope everyone is enjoying their summer, look for another update in about a month (that seems to be my routine).